Cries of a Transgender

Many transsexuals faced unhappiness in their latter marriage life. Thinking after getting married, they can maintained their role as male and forgo their femininity to become a woman. But then they found themselves trapped and unable to cope up as a man.  They started to break down and some how fallen apart in their marriage life. Being womanly inside with an effeminate persona, they ended up seeking psychological counselling and going through transition in HRT and SRS to alter their fate and destiny to live as a woman.

 

But in doing so, it is going to hurt their love ones. It is a painful step to take in the initial stage but life has to go on .....

I composed this poem in better understanding of a transsexual's mind in their feeling to become a woman and forgo everything in life including their families, friends and relations to live as a woman they always wanted to be so that they can find happy inside. But the pain and suffering they are going through the path of transition is very aching journey but is it worth the transition in your life? I leave it to individual transsexual to answer for themselves but I wish you all have make the right choice and to be blessed in your new life as a woman.

To myself..................................................

I’m leaving my past in search of my destiny

Too much bitter tears raining down on me

My heart seems to be far away from home

I'm undergoing my transition silently alone

In a hidden path too weary for me to walk

What left of me is a sad testimony I bored

Friends shun away finding me in a change

Being masculine becoming feminine dame

And slowly find I am not looking the same

I'm like living an outcast life full of shame

Why my sex gender not matching to me

Trapped in a wrong body uncomfortably

It's a wrong gender estranging my mind

I'm searching my past in wanting to find

Why I was born in a body that's so unlike

That's not me what I looked for mine kind

What gender should I conform to identify

Myself as female or leave my male behind

That's causing so much miseries to my life

So much worrying and I couldn’t decide

Wish I could give up my life and just die

Every time I looked into the mirror, I find

A hidden shadow of a woman inside me

Trapped in a male’s body trying to get free


To my love one...............................................

I used to bring you sunshine all the years round

Now it seems I’ve failed you in letting you down

How I wish it would be if you were in my shoes

No, there isn’t making sense to tell you the true

Either way I've chosen, I’m definitely to lose you

There isn’t any one that I can turn to for support

But to go for my transition it’s my only accord

Though you pleaded, screamed and you cried

To stay calm for you, maybe we can give a try

To find a solution whereby we can compromise

But it’s much too late now for me to do and say

To hold back my tears and tell you I would stay

It would be too much pain now for me to face

I have transited so much in my feminine phase

And turning back for me it's like telling you a lie

To stay I would cause a big mocking to your life

It's only a matter of time that you soon forget

The hatred I caused you that's making you sad

Your feeling for me in your heart will soon die

And forgotten I have ever existed in your life

 

And life needs to go on ........  and on..........

You just have to be strong...........................

 

Ada Shuling
Repost on Saturday, 4 February, 2012