I have forgotten what chastity felt like

Females are the weaker sex.  Like Eve in Mother Nature is so vulnerable to temptation and easily fallen prey to lust.

I've written a poem not bed full of roses but turn out to be torn instead.  A Love affair that wasn't so sweet after all if there is no true Love indeed.  But still being woman inside,  we fell prey to our mortal lust and sex desire that is entrapping us bodily!

I’ve forgotten what love like felt
In a sordid hotel I fell to his spell
I couldn't resist the desire inside
The room, the bed and dim light
All my senses slowly came to live
My sexual desire risen to a height
In bed I was left with no chances

I'm so vulnerable to his advances
Oh, the passionate feel of his hug
In his arms, I felt his dingy touch
His sweat inducing of a charisma
A manhood’s scent of male aroma
I ended up naked in bed for his lust
What I knew I couldn’t get enough
But the worst after our love making
He didn't bother when I am calling
Just so I knew that there's more lies
In humiliation he's hurting my pride
In still darkness there's always a fear
As I lay in my bed my eyes in tears
And I beg the Lord..........................
"Please, get this cheater off my mind
I want to forget and carry on my life''
Then he’ll call me to have more fun
Just as I knew there's shame to come
Conscience can't kill my heart's desire
A drop of rain can't put out raging fire
Oh, the price I’m paying for fooling
Each time I'm subject to his cheating
 And I beg the Lord...........................
"Please, get this Cheater off my mind
I want to forget and carry on my life''
But the worst part after love making
He didn't bother when I am calling
Just so I knew that there's more lies
In humiliation he's hurting my pride
In still darkness there's always a fear
As I lay in my bed my eyes in tears
 And I beg the Lord…………………
"Please, get this Cheater off my mind
I want to forget and carry on my life"
Then he’ll call me and want more fun
Just as I knew there's shame to come
Yes I'm afraid there's shame to come

Ada Shuling
Wednesday, 25 September 2013

I still think of YOU!

This poem is dedicated to my little Sistas....I once admired and adored.  She is my idol and inspiration to transition and because of her transformation , I adopted her footsteps but I couldn't be looking pretty like her as there was a big different in our age. 
She is the Beauty, and I am the Beast!

"You're so young, and I'm so Old,
Oh my Sistas, please don't go....
Oh Please, don't go... my Sistas"

 

You’re part of my life in a very special way
You, I’ll never forget for the rest of my days
Time can’t change the way I've felt for you
And I always cherished our friendship still

It seems now like forever we’ve been apart

Wish I could go back and make a new start
Since you left me, I missed you very much
I'll always treasured you deep  in my heart

Maybe failure in friendship we couldn't hold

You're like a sistas to me, yet I letting you go
It hurts me so much I couldn’t have you back
I know you'll not return no matter how I beg

Wanting to forget you but I found hard to do
You always came into my mind when I in blue
It's been so long now and I'm still think of you

All this years inside my conscience is my guilt

I bared this guilt like dagger stuck in my heart
I bared this burden like a heavy loads of truck
I carried living my life with despair and shame
I carried living my life and fighting to stay sane

I wanted you back with me again, is all I pled

I wanted you back with me again, is all I seek
I wanted you back with me again, is all I share
I wanted you back with me again, is all I care

When we first met, guessed we'll never know
You’re much too young and I'm much too old

It's so happened things couldn’t go in our way
In a friendship that eventually will never stay

After so many years, I'm  still thinking of you

I still see your sweet mile in my dream of you
So beautiful smile, wished you've not go away
It's so real in my dreaming as if you've stayed

But what's left of my dreams when I woke up

It’s only picture of you to mesmerise the past
I treasured these memories in me forever last
The time we spend together was so much fun

The past is a past and I couldn’t change it now

I wanted to be with you but I didn’t know how
I could only think of you in a way I used to be
And to find you, it's always inside my dreams


Take Care, my Sistas!

 

Ada Shuling
7 August 2013

 

 

A Bright New Day

 

 

DON'T CRY FOR THE PAST,

IT'S GONE!

DON'T STRESS ON THE FUTURE

IT HASN'T ARRIVE!

LIVE FOR THE PRESENT

AND MAKE YOUR LIFE

BEAUTIFUL! 

LIFE IS SHORT

ENJOY LIFE TO THE FULLNESS

 

 

No man is worth your tears,
and the one who is, won't be sorry to see you cry,
To the World you may be one person,
But to one person you may be the World.

Don't  lament on the lost on someone,
Who isn't willing to cherish you.
Don't cry because it's all over,
Smile because it has happened.
It's jut a new beginning.

Make yourself a better person,
And know who you are,
Before you learn how to cry.
You'll never expect there's someone else,
Who is more worthy for you.

And never give up on your hope,
when you least expected,
He is right there to support you.
And you realise that someone,
Actually care about you.

Never frown, even when you're sad,
Because you'll never know,
Who is falling in love with your smile.
So smile and stay sweet always
And you'll find love at your doorstep

Ada Shuling

I'm A Bad Gurl

I don’t care what other gossip behind my back

Coz I’m no good gurl and I know I’m bad

I don't care what other think so my heart is black

Coz I'm no good gurl and I know I'm bad

 

I’m hot temper and know how to throw tantrum

Coz I'm no good gurl and I know I'm bad

I'm quick to anger and know how to cause trouble

Coz I'm no good gurl and I know I'm bad

 

I like to hurt people’s feeling and never feel regret

Coz I'm no good gurl and I know I'm bad

The pain I’ve caused them and they’ll never forget

Cos I’m no good gurl and I know I’m bad

 

I smoke,  I drink and I went to bed with lots of men

Coz I'm no good gurl and I know I'm bad

I'm always in my heavy makeup and don sexy dress

Coz I'm no good gurl and I know I'm bad

Think I'm such a bad gurl now to be forgiven

Coz I'm no good gurl and I know I'm bad

And when I die, I'll go to Hell and not Haven

Coz I'm no good gurl and I know I'm bad

Nobody will pity me, care for me or lend me a hand

Coz I’m no good gurl and I know I’m bad

It's okay, I accept my fate and I deserved what I get

Coz I'm no good gurl and I know I'm bad

You still want to be my friend.....Huh?